How do you do it?

I just have one question for all the ladies out there: How do you get the man in your life to understand what clean is and what clean isn't? I'm close to being on bedrest, and our house is a disaster. Some ladies in our church are helping out, but I'm embarrassed to have them come in the house with it looking like this. it's not just in needing of a good dusting. We are talking major mess. Food everywhere...crumbs everywhere...trash bags full of stinky trash everywhere. And he says "well, not much to do in the way of cleaning!" Any suggestions? I love my husband, but I know that he grew up with a dad who didn't care about such things, a mom who was disabled and couldn't do housework, and a grandma who did everything for him and his sister.......help! He also gets very upset when we talk about, which makes me upset, and it turns into a fullblown fight. I need suggestions on how to approach this subject...