I'm back with a new look!

Hello!!! It's been so long since I blogged, I almost forgot how to do it!

Much has happened since September, the last time I checked in. The biggest change is my newest baby boy, Ronnie! He is a big boy, weighing 8 pounds even at birth on November 1, 2005, and today weighing in at almost 14 pounds! He and I have had a rough time of it, having contracted a staff infection and another bacterial infection during my pregnancy, but we are both great now!

Here's a current picture of the Ewing gang.....more from us later! Happy New Year, everybody! Our prayer is that God's blessings on you this year would be new, fresh, and full!

How do you do it?

I just have one question for all the ladies out there: How do you get the man in your life to understand what clean is and what clean isn't? I'm close to being on bedrest, and our house is a disaster. Some ladies in our church are helping out, but I'm embarrassed to have them come in the house with it looking like this. it's not just in needing of a good dusting. We are talking major mess. Food everywhere...crumbs everywhere...trash bags full of stinky trash everywhere. And he says "well, not much to do in the way of cleaning!" Any suggestions? I love my husband, but I know that he grew up with a dad who didn't care about such things, a mom who was disabled and couldn't do housework, and a grandma who did everything for him and his sister.......help! He also gets very upset when we talk about, which makes me upset, and it turns into a fullblown fight. I need suggestions on how to approach this subject...

Got to do this more often

I can't believe how I neglect this blog. But you know, I've had enough on my plate the last few weeks. Here's a quick recap....pregnancy (except for having diabetes again) is going well. I'm just huge. The kids are getting big and more amazing by the day. Russ is back driving charter bus, and just returned from New Orleans, and working to get people out of the city. I guess that's what I want to blog about more than anything.

I don't understand why it took us so long to get relief efforts to the people down there. But the time for this stupid blame game is done..or at least it should be put on hold for a very long time. The most important thing now is that help is there, and there is a heck of a lot of work to be done. I thought the most poignant headline I saw today said something to the effect of "Now they're waiting to see what lies beneath the water". How true. I'm just thankful that our little family has what we have. We are so blessed.

More later.....I promise.....

Can anyone give me some advice?

It's been forever, but I've been so tired with this pregnancy. Today (and yesterday) we finally got some of the housework done. Now I've just got to finish and after that, I've got to try and keep it looking good. The baby's room needs to be finished, too. I just wish I had the energy I need. Any other moms out there that have experienced how difficult it is to have two toddlers (I know Isaac is four, but with his developmental delays, he's like a twin to 20-month-old Emma), and another baby on the way? Maybe it's been made worse by my age...I know that 42 is not too old to have a baby, but I am always exhausted!

I'm also looking ahead to this new school year. Isaac has what could be his last year of preschool. I'm not looking forward to kindergarten screening. I don't know if he'll be ready or not. Maybe with our appointment at the neurologist next month we'll get some more answers. If Isaac is autistic, maybe he could spend a year or two at Woodlane School (MRDD) in their autism program. Or maybe that's just the best place for him. I do love having him included with typical kids, but I'm not sure that, at this point, he can make it. How about some more advice...any parents of developmentally delayed children who have successfully completed potty training? We're working on a consistency basis, but no luck yet, and it's been all summer.

Come on, I need some comments!!!

Time for another posting...

I'm really getting bad at posting on this blog. I guess I just get too wrapped up in other things.

We do know now that the new baby is a boy...Ronald Lee Ewing III. I wish that November was here, and that the baby was here...this is my last pregnancy, and I'm already tired of it. I know what they say about cherishing these moments. I'd rather get to the baby moments, thank you very much!

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the ministry that Russ and I have...God brought us together to spend our lives together as man and wife, as dad and mom, and as ministers together. We are sure of it. And I think I know exactly what that ministry is...to what society would consider the rejects....to the sad, the troubled, the hurting, the "different", the "challenged". My mind goes back to the days when I was considering ending this life, because I couldn't take the pressure or the guilt anymore. I remember being in the "hole" at the stress clinic....being on suicide watch, wanting everyone to leave me alone and let me die. I hear the cries of so many around me with those same thoughts. Can I tell you something, if you are one of those in need? You are not unlovable, you are loved by One far greater than time and space, One who created the heavens and the earth. And I love you as well, even though I may have never met you! PLEASE...if you happen to read this, and those thoughts of being unwanted, of being guilty, of being dirty have crossed your mind...contact me. Let me tell you that this life IS worth living, and why! Let me share with you the guilt and pain that I felt, and that I still have chance to meet with, even today. PLEASE......

More later...

Time sure flies...

Has it really been almost a month since I last posted? Everything has been so busy, with family, church, "working on the railroad" (the historic Bluebird), and more, I lose track of time.

But it has been a great month. We still don't know what the baby is...boy or girl. Actually, we tried to see in an ultrasound, but its little legs just stayed glued, and it wouldn't let us see! We do know this....the baby is VERY healthy. All of my blood tests came back perfectly normal, the baby's heartbeat is great, it was VERY active during the ultrasound......I am so happy!

Isaac and Emma are growing like weeds. Isaac has actually begun communicating more in the past couple of weeks...something is clicking somewhere! We still don't know if he is brain-damaged or autistic, because, due to some problems, we are now switching neurologists. But hopefully we will know more by fall. Maybe it's just that Isaac is taking his sweet time talking! Emma is just a little princess, and she knows it! She loves to play with her brother, to dance, to watch Teletubbies (just like Isaac), and to be goofy, just so Mom and Daddy will laugh. She is now starting to get the idea that a new baby is coming. I think she will have some problems with it when the baby is born, but we're working on getting both Isaac and Emmy ready!

Russ is, as always, working extremely hard, whether it's at the mission, at the railway, or at home. he wears me out! But finances have NOT been good, and that is frustrating for him. I help as much as I can right, with my disability and teaching some voice lessons. But it's summer time, and I had some students stop for the summer, so that's less financially. It makes me feel very guilty about not working, but I know right now that, mentally, I just can't handle a job outside of the home. He is up for a full-time position at the mission...executive chef yet to boot...but we haven;t heard anything yet. Lord, please give him some answers soon!

More later...

I'm Ba-a-a-a-ck!

It's been way too long since I posted anything, and I feel really guilty when I go blogging, and I see sites that have one or two sentences posted several times each day......I wonder what kind of lives those people have! Time moves by too quickly for me...

My pregnancy is going along great...14 weeks this Wednesday. I get a little nervous during this next month. It was at 18 Weeks that my water broke with Isaac, and all of the trouble began. I plan to just praise the Lord when I get past that 18 week mark....I know I did with my Emma! This is a great part of pregnancy, though. I've just begun to feel the little butterfly movements, and I love those. It such a feeling of life presence. Every time I get a new "wiggle", I talk to the baby, and tell him all kinds of things. I did the same with Isaac and Emma; when I do it now, Isaac and Emma just look at me, like I'm nutsy! "Mom, why are you talking to your tummy?" By the way, we are still not sure that the baby is a boy. Mommy thinks she is pretty sure, but we haven't actually checked yet!

Speaking of our kids, Russ and I have come to one conclusion about this almost 17-month-old daughter of ours: Emma may look just like her daddy and his baby pictures, but she is Mommy's little personality clone. God help her, I hope she's not bipolar like me! She is, though, a little entertainer. Just watch her when some music comes on the radio or TV; her little tushie starts wiggling all over the place, and she starts swinging her arms; she closes her eyes, smiles this silly little crooked smile, and starts spinning 'round and 'round in a dizzy circle. She is a scream. She is always wanting to be at the center of everyone's attention! Sound familiar to anyone? Theatre Departments of the future, BEWARE!

This should be a tough week for Isaac. On Wednesday, he goes to St. Vincent's Mercy Children's Medical Center for a second EEG (they didn't want to use the one from Toledo Children's Hospital!) and an MRI. His new neurologist is looking to see if Isaac's communication problems are caused by ANY brain damage that might have occurred. If he has some, then rightfully so. After all he has been through, especially two brain surgeries with his shunts and his hydrocephalus, he may have some damage. If none is found, then we go back to a rare form of autism called Connor's Syndrome. This is all just a way of clarifying Isaac's difficulties for us and for his teachers and specialists and therapists. We can know better what direction to take in teaching him speech, etc., if we know what has caused his problem. And the way I see it, we can know better how to pray for Isaac. Most of our prayers throughout Isaac's life have been pretty general at times; you know, help him to walk, help him to talk, give him strength, etc. With this diagnosis process, we can say to God (who already knows the problem, but it will make us feel better to specify it!): "Here's what is going on with my boy, Lord. Please fix it, or please give Isaac, Mom and Dad the strength we all need to work through this." In any case, we will know even more about Isaac. I swear, and many of his doctors have told Russ and I, that our medical degrees are in the mail any day now! I never dreamed I would ever know this much about pediatric difficulties! My R.N. mom would be proud.

In other news, boy, is our family busy! We are now members (and active members at that) of the Toledo Lake Erie and Western Railway ("The Bluebird"), its corporation, and so forth. Russ and I manage the depot gift shop in Waterville, and Russ is an engineer in training. Considering the fact that Russ grew up around this train (he was a member before, until he moved away and met and married yours truly), and that he loves it so. I'm very excited because, besides our church and the work we do there, this is an activity that our family can do together, even with our kids as young as they are. Isaac and Emma got their first ride on the "Bluebird" today, and they loved it! They will grow up to be train kids, just like their dad!

I'm really sleepy, so I'll write more later....

He has a reprieve...

Well, Buddy is still here, and personally, I'm very happy about it. After looking for a new home for him (with absolutely no luck) Russ, began to call vets (including our regular doctor), and asked them questions about how best to proceed. Most of them said training and surgery, so those are the routes we are going to take with him, as soon as the money is available. It's EXPENSIVE to snip and clip and male dog! And school for him is not cheap!

But here is the funny part.....Buddy KNEW that he was on the chopping block. I mean, he IMMEDIATELY became the best, most subservient dog you've every seen. He has been sweet as pie to the kids (well, to Emma.....he was ALWAYS good to Isaac), and basically, he is the best dog ever! There is not a dumb bone in his body...

More later...

Some changes coming...

I hate having to admit I've been wrong. But we were wrong in getting our dog, Buddy. He is just too big for our home. A dalmatian/beagle can get pretty large, and a mobile home is not ideal for his crib. He is destroying our yard. And now, he is NOT behaving well with the kids. He is snipping, attempting to bite, growling and more. I can't have this around Isaac and Emma, and I really can't have it around the new baby when he (or she) comes in November. So Russ and I are asking some friends of ours who own a big farm to take him off our hands. It breaks my heart. This is the second dog we've had to get rid of. But we have learned.....no more male dogs. They are just not the greatest with kids. And no more big dogs, even though dalmatians are a big part of my heart.

Here's a good part to today: We've got names for the baby, and we've made it very simple to call the baby by its name NOW. If it is a boy, his name will be Ronald Lee Ewing III (after Russ' dad, and his big brother who died as a baby). If it is a girl, she will be named Veronica Ann (still using the "Ron" factor, and a middle name that comes from Me and my mom). Either way, this is Baby Ronnie. I might spell it Ronni if it is a girl, but we'll handle that as it comes. We love you already, Baby Ronnie!!!

Later...

April Showers....you know the rest!

Well, I guess I need to post something. We are, after all, six days into the new month already! Also, my title is significant.....it is lightly raining outside.....and it's supposed to be beautiful tomorrow evening, and all weekend! Yeehaw! I have always loved the month of April!

And what a month it has already turned out to be so far in 2005! We've learned that my high hormone levels do NOT mean that I'm having multiples. We have one beautiful baby "something" in there, and, at seven weeks, two days along, on April Fools' Day, we got to not only see the heartbeat of our baby, but HEAR it! Technology can be a scary, wonderful thing. Our prayer now is that the high hormone levels will regulate themselves...sometimes they use those to try and indicate the baby has something wrong. I had high levels with Isaac, and he has hydrocephalus. God, this baby is Yours, and has been since the beginning of time...

WHAT IS IT WITH MEN AND SPORTS???? Russ got angry this week because his precious Tigers (okay, I admit, I love baseball...just not to this degree) were not aired on their opening day, even though the game had been advertised for ESPN 2. SO.....Russ immediately called Direct TV, signed us up, and then cancelled our cable TV, as of the 18th. So, he tells me that the installation appointment was set for ten a.m. today. We even got a call from their offices, confirming that time. THEY SHOWED UP AT 8 A.M.!!!! Needless to say, it was rescheduled for tomorrow (or by now, today) after one p.m. AAGH!

More later....I'm also going to put on a few great pictures! My kids have been at it again! Isaac's been into the kitchen, and Emma's been into EVERYTHING! Later...

Food for Thought

I have just been reading about the judge's decision today to keep the feeding tube out of Terri Schiavo. My heart is breaking. I remember four years ago when our son, Isaac, was so little and so sick, and a doctor asked us to consider letting "nature take its course", by pulling his tubes and his oxygen, and letting him die. I now look at my healthy, strong four-year-old son, and I think...Thank You, God. Thank You for having everything in your control. Teach us that You don't need our help to do ANYTHING. Certainly, my son is autistic, and there might be those who think that we would have been better off to let him die...but GIVE ME A BREAK! Isaac has so much to offer the world, and the decision was NEVER ours to make! Read this article, please....and continue to pray for Terri Schiavo.

The Christian Underground http://www.christian-underground.com/ READ IT - LEARN FROM IT - PRAY OVER IT - SHARE IT---Culture of death stalks Terri Schiavo (March 22, 2005; J.D. Mullane) In a video, Terri Schiavo appears pale, puffy and fragile. Her mother, Mary Schindler, faces Terri, back to the camera from a three-quarter shot. Mrs. Schindler lifts her left hand to caress Terri's face. Terri smiles. But this can't be, for we have been told that Terri Schiavo is hopelessly brain damaged and in a "persistent vegetative state" or, as one doctor who recommended starving her to death put it, in "wakeful oblivion." Another video. It shows Terri grimacing and turning away when a doctor places a cotton swab in her mouth. Who knew that someone in a persistent vegetative state could feel discomfort enough to react as anyone might when a swab is shoved in your face? Terri seems wakeful, but not oblivious. Another video. Terri's eyes follow a Mylar balloon as it is moved over her, back and forth. Huh. A profoundly brain-damaged woman who appears to have the ability to concentrate. Oh, it's probably just a reflex. More video. Terri laughs. Terri moans. Terri tries to speak. (Yesterday the Internet was ablaze with a 2004 audiotape of Terri attempting to speak to her father.) Laughter? Moaning? Speech? From someone whose brain forever spins somewhere near Jupiter? Of course, who am I to question the wise men of medicine who actually examined Terri? These doctors gave their opinions to a Florida state judge, who used them to rule that "persistently vegetative" Terri should die by starvation. Among the doctors the judge relied on is Ronald Cranford, a neurologist who has taught at the University of Minnesota's Center for Biomedical Ethics. I'm sure it's just a slip among us in the media, but it hasn't been widely reported that Cranford has long advocated starving the brain damaged, especially those suffering from Alzheimer's. He even wrote an op-ed piece in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune about it." In Europe," he wrote, "feeding tubes are rarely seen in nursing homes. Once a patient is so severely brain damaged that only artificial nutrition can sustain life, many doctors and families ask, 'What's the point?' " The point, doctor, is that brain-damaged people can improve, and the videotapes of Terri Schiavo are evidence. I had a cousin who suffered an aneurysm and lay comatose for weeks. Several doctors examined him and said there was nothing more to do. Compassion dictated that life support be turned off. But one doctor had an unscientific hunch that my cousin would recover. Several weeks later, my cousin was talking. Today, you'd never know that he had nearly been a victim of medically induced "compassion." What stalked my cousin, and what's stalking Terri Schiavo, is what Pope John Paul II calls the "culture of death." That is putting to death someone who is medically helpless in the name of compassion or for the sake of our own convenience. It's becoming normalized. Just last Sunday, The New York Times, quoting "experts," reported that inducing death by withholding food and fluids "can lead to a gentle death" - as if none of us have seen the horrific images of Dachau and Bergen-Belsen. If Terri Schiavo dies, she won't be the first victim the culture of death has claimed. She'll merely be the most famous among millions who've been silently terminated because it was decided that their life was more trouble than it was worth.

Can I also suggest to everyone that you plan ahead? Have a will made up...have a living will made up. Let your loved ones know LEGALLY what your desires are. I know I have a lot of room to talk, but Russ and I are working on it. Now that we have another baby on the way (have I written about that yet?), it seems all the more important!

God bless Terri, and if it comes down to it, Lord, take her away in PEACE and comfort. Don't let her suffer, as it seems her husband wants her to.

More later...

November 16th is not that far away...

What a weekend....and what a morning today. You see, on Saturday, I realized that I was VERY late...you all know what I mean. I told Russ, and of course, we were both cautious considering our past history. I mean, our second "probable" miscarriage was only two months ago. We bought an EPT Sunday, and that night, it came out positive even before the allotted two minutes was up! On Monday, I went for a blood test, the results came in this morning from Promedica lab...I am VERY pregnant (5 weeks along).

I am very happy, and yet a little sad. This is our final baby, so I want to savor every moment....I love it when I begin to feel those "butterfly moves"... Russ, on the other hand, is scared to death. You see, the hormonal number indicating pregnancy for me was quite high. The nurse said that this could mean that I'm farther along than we think (that is possible, but after some feeling around, she said she doubts that). It could also indicate possible multiples on the way! So Russ says he won't relax until he sees the first ultrasound!

Can you believe....three children for me, and I'll be 42 in June. What a woman.....or what an idiot! No, seriously, I love my kids with everything I have, and I can't wait to hold one more in my arms!

Later...

"Make Our Efforts Successful"

Everyone is starting to feel healthy in this house. I guess I'm the remaining sickie....I still have a slightly sore throat, and a major sinus infection. I'm getting some rest (with two toddlers, just how much rest can a woman get????), I'm taking my vitamins, I'm sleeping with a vaporizer.....I just hope I'll be 100% soon. Someone told me the other day that most people are being affected by this crud that is going around for three to four weeks at a time! That's way too long for me. I think the best thing for us would be warm, fresh, springtime air; opening our windows, and doing some spring cleaning......ah, yes, that would be terrific. But, alas, we are currently receiving 1-3 inches of snow, with another inch or two expected tomorrow. Temperatures for the next week are expected in the 20's and 30's. Spring, where are you? It's been almost six weeks since that blasted groundhog saw his shadow!!! I'm ready to do some yard work, too!

Can't wait to have pictures of our current church drama to post. Isaac and Emma are in it with me this year....maybe next year (especially with his new job at the mission) Daddy will join us as well. tonight was our first full dress rehearsal. Isaac did great! He even tried to sing along a few times! Em was another story altogether! At one point, I lost hold of her, and she took off across stage, right into the middle of a scene where our Mary Magdalene was dancing, and presenting her alabaster box to Jesus......What a stitch! Our friend Crockett, who is Jesus, grabbed her eventually, and she stood on his lap, bouncing and clapping! What a show-off.....I wouldn't have any idea where she would have gotten that trait!!!!! :)

I've got a scripture I want to share with you all. My prayer is that someone sees this scripture, and the following prayer that we, as parents of an autistic son, prayed just yesterday. It held so much meaning for us. We think we should pray it EVERYDAY!

"Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives. Give us gladness in proportion to our former misery! Replace the evil years with good. Let us see your miracles again; let our children see Your glory at work. And may the Lord our God show us His approval and make our efforts successful. Yes, make our efforts successful!" (Psalm 90:14-17, New Living Translation).

Dear Lord,
Thank You for this beautiful passage out of Psalm 90! Thank You that it brings a hope that we will sing for joy to the end of our lives. Thank You that we can ask You for gladness in proportion to our former misery and that we can ask You to replace the evil years with good. Lord, according to this Psalm, we do pray that we would truly see Your miracles again, and that we would see them in Isaac's life. Let us, and let our children see Your glory at work day after day, beginning today! And, dear Lord, make our efforts truly successful. Show us what to do and where to go to get all the help we need for Isaac and his special needs, so that he would be successful as well.
I pray, Father, that You would expose anything that is oppressing us in our lives and causing every promise in this Psalm to not be fulfilled, and that You would begin to break the power of that oppression so that we truly will sing for joy to the end of our lives!
In Jesus' name...Amen.

I can't think of any better way to end this posting. Pray this with the Ewing family, won't you? Pray it for us, pray it for your own lives! This is definitely a scripture that I will hold to my heart forever, memorizing it, and placing it deep within my mind! PTL...

More soon...

HELP!!! I'm stuck in a sick house!

What a week we've had in this house! The kids have been so very sick, and I'm practically at the end of my rope. It all began last Thursday when Emma's temperature skyrocketed, and she began screaming (about 6:00 p.m.). Russ and I (along with a seemingly healthy big brother Isaac) took her to the emergency room at our local hospital, and they were quick to diagnose her...double ear infections (some of the worse they have seen in a 14-month-old)! She was given these "miracle" ear drops that took away the pain (they have something similar to lidocaine in them), and a big ten day course of ampicillin. We took her home, and she slept okay through the night. I had to get up two or three times to administer more of the drops, and once she got some ibuprofen for the fever. By Friday morning, she was already on the way to recovery. Actually, she's still on her way, just not 100% yet. On Friday morning, Isaac started acting LOUSY! He was supposed to go in for a routine CT check of his shunt that afternoon, and I postponed it for a week. But in the mid-afternoon, we had to rush him into our pediatrician. Unfortunately, our regular doctor was already gone for the day, and his partner was there....she is NOT my favorite. We have butted heads several times, and she always ends up being the WRONG one. FORTUNATELY, the physician's assistant, Marjean, was there, and she's fantastic. They immediately checked Isaac's ears, and said the left one was a little "dull" looking, but not really infected. HOWEVER, he tested positive for strep. He is deathly allergic to penicillin, ampicillin, and the entire "cillin" family, so this "doctor", and I use the word with intense caution stood there in front of my husband, and argued with Marjean about what drug to put Isaac on. Marjean then mentioned that there was a possibility that Isaac's shunt was failing (wouldn't you know it?)....Dr. Thomas (yes, I'll publish her name....I really don't care if she reads this, and gets upset...she needs to know that she has once again messed up!) stated, "Well, I don't know how to check those!" She proceeded to press on the bulb at the top of his head, which is the connector where the shunt enters the skull and goes into the area surrounding the brain where the fluid is. Russ tried to tell her that the bulb is ALWAYS hard, and but she said, "Oh, this is hard....I'll bet it's failing. Oh, well, take him home, and if he gets worse, rush him to Toledo Hospital." Can you believe her gall? Marjean tried to apologize to Russ, and he simply took Isaac to the car, and came home to get Emma and me. We went to the wonderful new ER at The Toledo Hospital, and then immediately sent him to CT. All in all, everything came back fine, but the doctor (Dr. Isak....great name, huh?) said his case of strep was pretty bad. We ended up with a prescription for an antibiotic, and lots of good advice, and we came home. We have been in a battle with Isaac, high temperatures, pain, stomach cramps, not eating, forcing liquids, etc. for the past five days!!!! Yes, five days. I haven't even showered since Sunday....no time. But today, Isaac seemed to worsen....more temperature spikes, and he began to have trouble breathing. I immediately gave him another aerosol treatment (we began his "as needed" treatments up again Sunday). He got a little better, but still he wasn't great. We called in, and Marjean asked us to bring him in for a blood work-up. They were worried about a viral infection. Well, that test came back negative, but his strep test this time also came back negative. They checked his left ear again, and now it is infected. They gave him an injection (poor baby) of a stronger antibiotic, hoping that maybe this would give his health the kick in the butt it needs. They also checked him for Influenza and RSV. Strangely enough, some friends of ours were at the hospital at the same time, admitting their little girl (same age as Emma) because she has RSV. Obviously, there are a lot of germs floating around the church nursery and classrooms!!! I will tell the childrens pastor, and the preschool director about it....they may have to have a MAJOR cleaning of the rooms. Anyway, we'll know the results of those tests early tomorrow morning. One of the nurses (a good friend) will give us a call with them, and to check on Isaac. Marjean says she is also going to call to check on him when she comes in at noon. I love her. She should go ahead and be a doctor...more folks would listen to her. She reminds me of my mom...she is a nurse who REALLY knows her stuff.

I am so tired, though. Emma is back to running around, runny nose and all. Her ears seem clear, but her nose is still full of (sorry, folks) green stuff. She is cutting three molars, too....that's not helping the situation. Isaac was eating popsicles, bananas, and drinking Dr. Pepper before he went to sleep. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day....

I miss my mom so much when it comes to times like these. She was our family's doctor/nurse all rolled up into one, and it always seemed like she knew what to do. She was so good at that. She should have been a doctor. You know, actually, she would have been a great physician's assistant. They just didn't have that position available in her day. I miss you, Momma...

More later...

Can't quit before you see Daddy and Emma casting off a few zzzz's!

Can't quit before you see Daddy and Emma casting off a few zzzz's!
Originally uploaded by russandshari.

Aren't they good-lookin'? You'll notice that there are no pictures of sleeping Momma.....oh, yes, I sleep as often as I can....I just don't get my picture taken while I'm doing it!

Sleepy Isaac

Sleepy Isaac
Originally uploaded by russandshari.

I tried to rotate this picture, but for some reason, it wouldn't do it! So everybody tilt your head to the right, and check out my sleepy son......he LOVES to fall asleep in his booster chair!

The Tired Ewings

Buddy is tired, too!
Originally uploaded by russandshari.

Everyone is tired at the ewing house lately! We've made it through the stomach flu, and now it's sinus infections! Tho't I'd post a couple of pictures.....this one shows that even our big puppy, 9 month old Buddy, gets his naps in!

tired, but a good tired.....sort of

It's getting late...Russ is in bed, without me again. I always seem to do this to myself. I wait until late to try and do some housework (this time laundry) and then I wear myself out until it's no question...I have to fall into bed. I wish I had Isaac's energy. He's in his bedroom with the lights out, but he's not asleep yet. I hear one of his Wiggles toys blaring away.

I got probably one of the best compliments of my life today, and I owe it all to the Lord. After the 10:30 a.m. worship, I was in the lobby preparing to help in Isaac's class for a few minutes like I always do, and one of the men I see pretty often at church (there are so many people there...I just can't remember names). He thanked me for singing "I Just Want Jesus" with the choir, and then he said it. He said that I reminded him of his all time favorite singer, but that he didn't know if I would know who she was...Vestal Goodman. For those of you out of the southern gospel loop, before her death in late December of 2003, Vestal was known as the "queen of gospel music". She had been in the ministry, singing with her family for ages (I grew up singing along with their records...they were a family favorite)...and, best of all, she had the Lord's spirit constantly fresh and strong, following her every step of the way. To hear her sing or pray, or just speak a few minutes...you felt like God was speaking directly through her (and He probably was!!). Mark Lowry, a christian comedian and singer, once said that when Vestal prayed, God stopped all of the noise in heaven and said "Shhhhhhhhh....Vestal's speaking!". Oh, if only I could keep that close to Him...

Later...

Just some thoughts, late at night...

It's bedtime, but I just wanted to talk over some rambling thoughts in my mind.

Our choir rehearsal tonight at church was so special. For those of you who understand, the Lord visited us in a very sweet way. There actually was no rehearsal! We just sang, and worshipped and proclaimed God's Word. It was exactly what we needed as a church family......beautiful.

My sweet new friend, Cami, has suffered such a loss. She and her husband have been trying for a baby, and she was @10 weeks along, when she found out earlier today that the baby had died at 8 weeks. Having gone through that experience twice myself, my heart breaks for her. But I e-mailed her tonight, and my reminder to her was the same reminder I gave myself just weeks ago when I miscarried. God promises to be our strength, and He is, especially when we are at our weakest. He even says in His Word, that it is in our weakness that He is the strongest. He will carry Cami through this, even though it may seem impossible right now. And I truly believe that one day, in the not so distant future, Cami will be a wonderful mother to a beautiful, perfect child. I want her to hold to that vision....

Here's a whole new thought......can you believe how stupid this whole NHL season cancellation thing is? I MISS THE RED WINGS! And now we Red Wings fans are faced with the very possible fact that players like Hull, and Chelios, may RETIRE before hockey ever returns. They CAN'T go out like this!!!!!

My son, Isaac ( a terrific hockey fan in his own four year old way) had his EEG this morning. What a messy test that is! Russ went into the testing room with him (Emma and I stayed outside, and of course, entertained the entire waiting room.......she was busy smiling, flirting, throwing kisses at passing doctors and nurses, and trying to steal pop cans and sodas from other fols waiting with us!!!!), and when they came out an hour later, Isaac's hair (cut just yesterday, thank God) was sticking up all over the place. They put this sticky, thick goop in his hair to hold each one of the thirty or so leads...........YUCK! No word yet on how it came out, whether or not any seizure activity was seen. I'm sure if it was bad, they would have said something immediately. We'll find out the results next Friday at his neurosurgery appointment. Either that, or we'll talk about it March 1st at his first appointment with his new neurologist, Dr. Cameron. I really believe that seizure activity is not a problem for Isaac.....but we are going to work to find out if there is anything else that could be delaying his development (besides his prematurity, his hydrocephalus, and his "rough start" at life!).

I'm tired...Got some cute picture of the kids to blog...I'll do it later. I like this.....It's a great addition to my regular journal. Believe me, there's stuff in there I'd never post on the internet!!

More later.....God bless you all......

A Wonderful Evening...A Renewed Life Together

This evening was absolutely wonderful. Our church, Dayspring Assembly of God, had a valentines' banquet at one of our local country clubs. Russ and I went, as did @70 other couples. We had dinner, a short word from our Senior Pastor, a duet from our Young Adults Pastor and his wife (From This Moment On.....it was beautiful), and renewing of our wedding vows. Russ and I have only been married five and a half years, but this was absolutely beautiful. There's is something really special about sharing vows again after you've already shared some years of married life together. Those vows have so much more meaning now. And speaking of more meaning, I sang after the wedding vows. I sang the same song I sang to Russ at on wedding day, 9/18/99....."Grow Old With Me" by John Lennon. Have you ever really heard the words?

"Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be. Now our time has come; we will be as one. God bless our love, God bless our love. Grow old along with me, two branches of one tree. Face the setting sun when the day is done. God bless our love, God bless our love. Sharing our lives together, man and wife together; world without end, it's a world without end. (Now here's the part that really got to me).....Grow old along with me, whatever God decrees, we will see it through for our love is true, God bless our love, God bless our love." What got to me so much more today than it did five and one half years ago? When I sang this to Russ the first time, we didn't have an Isaac, or a troubled pregnancy with Isaac, or two miscarriages, or even a blessed little Emma. God truly HAS blessed our love, whatever He has decreed. And, with God's help, we have seen it through. I cried while I sang it tonight....I didn't cry at our original wedding. I loved this evening. We even have a wedding renewal certificate. It will take a place of special meaning in our house. I thank God for my husband, for he's a gift......and for our entire life together, from 1999 to now, and for eternity. Thank you, Lord, for the best Valentine's Day I've ever had. I look into the Russ' eyes, and into the eyes of my beautiful children, and that's all the hearts and flowers and candy I'll ever need.

By the way, Maggie, the precious canine friend I wrote about previously, is gone now. God, take care of her, and bless her life in eternity. Think that's silly? I don't. God promises that if we follow hard after Him, He will give us the desires of our heart. My desire is to have my pets with me in Heaven, and I believe that Maggie, along with others I could name......lots of others.......will be waiting there for me someday. Please excuse the typos in my previous posting. It was kind of hard to type those words.......

More later....

My Beautiful Maggie

My Beautiful Maggie
Originally uploaded by russandshari.

Today should be a happy valentines day for me....but I can't help but be sad. My Beautiful Maggie....she's the dalmatian you see here. She would have been 13 years old this September (September 25th to be exact), but today she went home to be with my mom and dad in Heaven. She lived with my sister and her husband; but for many years, before my sister and I married, she lived with Mom and Dad, and me and my sister, and another Dallie, Joey, in our house on the lake. She was the "Zen" dog, so calm and pleasant most of the time, it seemed like nothing could phase her...unless she was on her way to or at the vet's office (just ask my husband Russ)!! Maggie was a very loving, brown and blue-eyed dog, and she had to be put down today because of a very serious infection in her lungs. Maggie, it's time to home now. Mom and Dad, and your friend Joey are all waiting for you. I will miss you with all of my heart, and I'm so sorry that I couldn't be there at the end to say goodbye. I'll miss all those mornings we laid in my bed, talking over the day ahead. You were a great listener. And you never condemned, never judged....you just looked at me with those big beautiful eyes. I have a Dallie of my own now; his name is Buddy. I'm so sorry that he and Maggie never had the chance to meet. I'll post some pictures of him soon. My prayer is that he continues to grow healthy and happy, and someday, (God willing...there are days right now when we could kill him!) he'll be a beautiful, loving, listening friend, just like my Maggie. Goodbye, girl......

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Originally uploaded by russandshari.

My baby doll...You know, when I was a little girl, I would beg Santa (Mom and Dad, actually.....I never did like talking to those store Santas!) for a new baby doll. I am just so blessed that God gave me two Christmas babies, Isaac on 12-19-00, and Emma on 12-23-03. Now I watch Emma play with her babies, and I think....someday, she'll be a mommy, too!

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Originally uploaded by russandshari.

After my last post, I had to look at the most recent "professional shots" of my kids. We took this photo of Isaac, in front of Santa, because we use this background every year, and we use it to see how much he has changed and grown. I hope Walmart never gets rid of it (or the least they can do is save it for us)...

Oh, by the way...

By the way, I just happened to think of something, and I thank the Lord for this memory. It was five years ago today that we finally brought Isaac (all three pounds, twelve ounces of him) home from the hospital for the first time. Back then, doctors weren't sure whether he would live that long. But look at him now...He is healthy, he is beautiful, he is 31 pounds...small but mighty nevertheless. Sometimes I forget how far he has come...

Make Him Smile, Lord...

Oh, Isaac is in a horrible mood today. We all slept in...maybe that's what is wrong. But it seems like the majority of his time today has been spent in crying and whining. I don't think it's physical pain, but I'm not sure. This is one of those frustrating days when you have a child with developmental delays, particularly communication delays, like Isaac. When they are a baby, or a toddler like Emma, it can be difficult to figure out when something is wrong, but eventually you can. Then when they are four years old, but their communication is stuck at baby-toddler level -- like Isaac -- the situation worsens for everybody. I guess this is one of my major areas of prayer and concern right now. I want to be able to talk to my son. I'm already having times when Emma and I can start to communicate, and those times are becoming pretty regular. But with Isaac, they are few and far between. I hate it, but that's nothing compared to the way it makes Isaac feel and behave. He gets frustrated and screams, and hits himself, and hits at Russ and me, and sometimes he bites himself or us. I want so bad to make all of these problems just melt away, to make my son talk like he should be talking, to give Isaac some peace of mind (and give myself some while I'm at it) but I can't. Lord, give us all a smile today, and remind us that You ARE working in Isaac's life. There are just days like this one...when the intervention of Your wonderful, loving hand is hard to see.....

Getting Everything Together

We're back, and it is a fairly busy Friday morning. I let Isaac and Emma sleep in this morning, since all of us have been so sick with the stomach flu. But, from the sounds of it, they are up and ready for breakfast! That is Great! But it also means I have only a few minutes to blog. I've beentrying to update our weblog this morning, giving it a more complete look. I just have to figure out now how to put a list of our favorite links at the side, and how to add a picture of us to our profile. I found the area where I can add a picture, but I'm not sure of the html of the picture I want to use. I'll figure it out eventually.

I'm tired today. But I copied down a great prayer this morning from our Children of Destiny site (see our second posting or check the link below; look under "help defeat autism in Jesus' name"). It says: Dear Lord, There are times when we become discouraged and feel robbed of strength because of the load we carry. Nevertheless, the Bible says that the joy of the Lord is our strength. Therefore, we ask that in times of weakness and tiredness that You would visit our family with joy, which produces strength, and delight, which produces vitality. We pray that You would bring a new wind of strength (I like that!) to our spirits for days ahead. We ask, Lord, that You would teach us how to have joy and delight in You, even when our circumstances are difficult (dealing with an autistic child, with sickness in the entire family, with day to day life!). In Jesus' name, Amen." That prayer began the process of picking up my spirits this morning, and I hope it does for you, too!


More later...

Picture #2...I think

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Originally uploaded by russandshari.

I couldn't remember if I sent this picture or the other family picture....but I'll get better at this! Don't you love Emma's face in this picture? That is definitely a picture of her personality! Isaac looks a little tired here. We call this one of his zone-outs...he still looks cute, doesn't he?

More later...

Mommy Has It Under Control!

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Originally uploaded by russandshari.

Okay, folks (with much thanks to Craig Magrum!), I can finally get photos on this weblog!!! I feel so smart now...I just hope I don't mess up. For those of you who know anything about the internet, blogging, etc., I had to change photo sites. I encourage ANY of you who are trying for the first time to go where Craig M. Suggested to me......www.flickr.com! It's great!

In the Beginning...

Well, this is something new...We've never had a "blog" before. As a matter of fact, I wasn't even sure what a blog was (guess you could call me an internet "dummy"), until some friends at church sent us information about their blog (thanks, Craig & Gayle). Russ and I are going to keep you all updated on our little family right here on the blog, plus we'll share thoughts, junk, recipes, anything at all......I guess it depends what comes to mind! Plus, once I learn the ins and outs of this, we'll have regular pictures of us, Isaac, Emma, and much more. I also want to encourage everybody who checks in to check out some of the websites we have suggested. They range anywhere from a great recipe site (you can find just about anything there!), to Russ' favorite barbeque friends, to sites on autism, church-related items, etc.

So why do this? It's because we love you all, and we hope you love us, too! AND this is a great journal-keeping item for Isaac and Emma. One day, I hope they want to add to this blog, or even get one of their own!

More later...

Be patient

I'm back for a quick add-on. Please be patient with this blog, and with me (Shari). I'm still trying to figure out how to put everything on it! Until then, check out these sites:

http://www.thisiswhatibelieve.com/
http://godchasers.net/
http://dayspringassembly.org/
http://afa.net/
http://insp.com/
http://allrecipes.com/
http://barbequen.com/
http://dayspring.com/
http://scrapbooking.com/
http://unlockingautism.org/
(look under "help defeat autism in Jesus' name")
http://firstsigns.org/

Well, that should get you started! More later....

Okay....it's later and I'm editing and trying to send a picture of us. I may change our picture sending.....helper....whatever you call them! This is harder than I thought.